I  find myself filling up all the spring and summer weekends, as couples call me, frantic to reserve their date.  I try to reassure them… there’s plenty of time to go around.

I love doing weddings.  Sometimes they are short and sweet – the clients want something really simple. They are the same religion. They like things done traditionally.

But every now and then, they have a defiant streak in them: it’s a biker wedding, or a gay wedding or the families come from vastly different religious traditions.  That’s when it really gets interesting!

I love crafting a one-of-a-kind ceremony.  It requires me to use my writing skills, and tap into my inner romantic.  It’s a little bit theater, and a lot of imagination.  Writing a custom ceremony takes some time and skill.  And it is a collaborative effort with the clients.

It’s what I was trained to do (in seminary).  And I adore it.  Perhaps this year I will be lucky enough to perform a ceremony in a hot-air balloon during Fiesta!!!

False Belief #1:  In New York, you just DON’T let go of a RENT STABILIZED APARTMENT!  Not for nothin’!  But holding on to it is completely unnecessary.  I recognize that I am healing in the area of my Abundance beliefs.  You can’t let go of one home if you don’t trust that you have another one, one that truly fits your needs and wants.  I love my new life in New Mexico.  And I freely release the old home, and say thank you to it, and to my loving community of neighbors, who helped me feel safe for so long.

False Belief #2:  You don’t throw away memories.  Well, yes, I do.  I have close to seven cardboard boxes filled with photo albums of my past.  I always thought that I needed to keep every picture, letter, memento of the things that I did and the people that I loved, so I would never forget them.  Many years later, I skim through and I truly cannot remember their names or why I have pictures or letters from them.  I haven’t thought about them in years, nor have they reached out to me, and I am just fine. In fact, I have even forgotten about some painful things that happened to me.  And I am completely at peace with that.  I intend to pull a dozen or so pictures out of each album, in case my niece Emma wants to know about my history, and the rest are going into the shredder.

False Belief #3:  My things have great financial value.  Well, much as I think I have fabulous taste, it turns out that no one wants my stuff… at least, not if they have to pay what it is worth.  I don’t take it personally.  I’m giving lots of people lots of presents as I pack up to close up, and what I don’t shlep back to Albuquerque is going to Goodwill.

Moving away for a year and a half on a trial basis turned out to be the real thing.  I learned that I didn’t need the many things I left behind.  I am doing just great without them.  I sometimes worry about all the money I spent obtaining my great treasures, and I remember that today I live a very abundant life.  My Creator and I are doing just fine making sure I have everything I truly need.  And it turns out that I cherish my space more than the things in it.

I send this missive out to clutter-holics everywhere.  You can heal. Just let go.  Admit how attached you are, and then open your clutching grasp and release.

Recently, a friend of mine called.  She said, “I realized today that I never call you just to ask about how you are. And I feel sad about that.  You do so much to take care of others.  So here I am, calling just to ask you, how are you?”

I started to cry, recognizing that her words were true.  More importantly, in that moment, I really knew that she sees me and she hears me.  I am not disregarded, and I matter to her.    And in that moment of acknowledgment, I knew that my loving her has been helping her heal.

One of my core beliefs is that I know that I am responsible for the way people treat me in the world, and that my life is a reflection of my own positive self-esteem.  I know that I deserve to receive love and respect from others, and I am loving and respectful of others.

Those  tears came from a deep place of old loneliness.  I shed them with gratitude, and I said “Thank you” to my Creator for a sweet affirmation that I am doing work that matters in the world.

It seems obvious to most that if you really love your work, you will be good at it and it will flow easily.  For some reason, I was afraid to really follow my deepest heart’s desire – working with people.  It took me a long time to discover it was because I was afraid that if I failed, I would have nowhere else to go.  Now I know that when you try something and fail, you simply readjust and tap back into your Source to find more love and more desire.  And then you do the next right thing.  Compassion for self is a big life lesson.

Today I work with couples to create memorable and unique wedding and commitment ceremonies.  It helps that I have a background in performance and writing, since I use both those skills when I create a ritual.  But what I love most is listening to people, hearing their hopes and their dreams, and helping them make their vision become a reality.  Planning the wedding is the first step in the process.  Planning their life together as a couple is the more important step.

If you’d like to read about my spiritual quest, feel free to subscribe to my blog.  I would enjoy your comments, too.

Om Namah Shivaya.